I have a terrible tendency to start writing up a good draft, polish it a little to make it presentable, then dropping the whole thing because it doesn’t meet my perfectionist standards. When I say perfectionist I do not mean the type that allows the great creators to do stuff like the Mona Lisa or the Sistine Chapel. I mean the type that makes me go, “hmm this feels incomplete/wrong somehow so I will just never finish it because I’m bored now.” How disappointing is that!

So today I’m gonna do something that I will call a pump and dump, it is the writing equivalent of frantically jerking off in your friend’s bathroom while you’re having a sleepover at 8 pm before the whole family decides to wake up. Sometimes you get bored of looking through porn videos trying to find the perfect one to finally blow your load on, sometimes just a quick tug will do to appease yourself. In a less confusing and gross manner of speaking, I will begin to write garbage with minimal amount of editing in order to get content out there– in which I am not being paid for, by the way (ahem, you’re welcomed)

Anyways, it is time to set the theme for this first Pump and Dump. The theme will be about uuuhhh hmm…

Well screw it I’ll just RNG it- erm I mean, consult my big brain for a suitable topic to discuss

Alright, so my uh big brain tells me to discuss creativity and how I manage to be creative. Well big brain you’re sure feeling catty today considering I’ve been creating fuckall this past month or so. I haven’t even written a single word on my short story in like 3 or 4 weeks! And despite that I still call myself a writer somehow…

But here’s my pump and dump on creative inspiration, it is the girl that ghosts you and keeps leaving you on read until she gets bored and starts texting you in a way that drives you absolutely wild. You love her and you hate her at the same time, and you can never find a way to let go of her completely. The passion is just too strong, even though you’re convinced you don’t feel an iota of care towards her she can still bring you back down on her whim. Even so you will love every minute of it

In a way, I am lucky that my blog isn’t a thing that I do for work; the pressure of coming up with suitable content that you’re both proud of and grabs attention of a money giving audience would be a lot to bear. Or you could also call that unlucky because that pressure might be what I need to get my butt off the lazy chair and start developing as an artist.

Either way, I feel like my brand of creativity wouldn’t fetch a huge audience. Most of my fellow writers are 30 something with kids and a nice blonde wife or bearded husband, and I’m just a bisexual guy in his early 20s who writes about weird stuff.

So how do I find a way to be creative? Well in fiction I just write how I’m feeling and use that feeling to create a different story. If I’m struggling with social media addiction my character will struggle with alcohol, if I’m struggling in a relationship my character will struggle with a close friendship. It is not a very reliable creative process but it’s the only process I’ve known.

Perhaps the reason why I’ve written less might be due to my unwillingness to step out of my bubble and start living more out there. Hmm, there’s a thought…

That makes this week’s pump and dump, next week I’m going to the astral world to have an interview with Sir Sigmund Freud about my sexual identity. See you then!